|Chittorgarh, Rajasthan, March 2013|
A single soul sailing in the sea,
Stares at the horizon again and again.
The faint fire of orange sun lingers on.
Witnesses his screams and a salty rain.
And she sits there for a long time beside me. “Still there. Still there. Gone.” And she turns her head towards me. But my mind is far away, looking at a photograph of us, which was taken a long time ago in future. The corners of the page show signs of age, but the smiles are still fresh. Snow is falling behind us and our footprints on the white floor still speak of our journey together. I still wonder why we didn’t hold your hands that day. The space between us is still visible in the photograph, unfazed by time and memory.
He knows she will come closer. Just not today.
In another universe, an old doctor is saying to his young patient. “If I’d ask you about Love, you will probably quote a sonnet, but, you have never looked at a woman and felt totally vulnerable. You don’t’ know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love someone more than you love yourself. The young man just sits there and says nothing. The perils a young man has to go through. He goes back and writes :
I have written a song,
Which I don’t want you to hear.
It has too much of ‘us’ in it.
It will clear everything unclear.
And again that familiar feeling weighs on him. Tough to explain. Tougher to write. Impossible to utter. A reminder of a moment which never arrived. When feelings, which once flowed, have turned into frost. You know that you loved once. And now it is lost. He remembers the sea. The sea keeps on receding, but it always arrives. I will not wait by the shore. I will be the shore. You kiss me everyday, I whisper to the sea. But, he wishes more.
The hands may shake, but the heart knows best. Sometimes, life does feel like an unbroken chain of sad songs. Some sighs are louder than words and heavier than stars. All we are is dust in the wind, life tries to convince me. Are we? I ask. For once, I would like to be the wind that saw past the rocks and mountains. It blew. Because that was what it knew. The day never forgives the night for taking away its light. The destiny of small stones is to sink in the river. But the big stones change the course of the flow. And few souls are meant to be become braver by every blow. It is time to be back in the cage and fight.
If Life is a person,
How does he smile?
Does he have crooked teeth?
And mockery is his style?
Another young man stands on his desk and shouts ‘O Captain! My Captain!’. Courage seeps inside us without a sound and for the first time we become a person we were always meant to be. Our life starts from that day.
P.S - There are references to dialogues and scenes from the movies, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society and Before Midnight. Song 'Dust in the Wind' is By Kansas. Photo Credit: Me