|Plitvice National Park, Croatia|
I know what I need. A Dream. A dream, on the lines of absurdity. A dream which looks impossible at first thought, even at second thought. Which would need every atom of my every molecule of my every cell of my every organ to get it done. And even that might not be enough. My every breath should be scented with the thought of that dream getting fulfilled someday, somehow. A dream close to my heart, but much beyond the reach of my mind and body.
The finish line should look so much beyond the horizon that even trying to pursue would be a foolhardy exercise. A dream, that even a thought that I would be able to touch it one day should fill every pore of my skin with pleasure. That my heart should fill with so much satisfaction, that at that time, TIME WILL STOP. Every other sound, but the sound of my heart would be MUTE. That every smell, but of my own sweat would be odorless. Just the thought of reaching there would mean so much to me. What actually being there would feel like? UNDEFINED. UNEXPLAINAIBLE. WITHOUT WORDS.
A Dream like BURT MUNRO has in ‘THE WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN’. What ‘DANTES’ has in ‘THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO'. What ‘RUDY’ has in ‘RUDY’. What ‘OSKAR SCHELL’ has in ‘EXTREMELY HARD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE’. What ‘BHUVAN’ has in ‘LAGAAN’.
And then I got to nurture that dream. WITH HOPE.
A hope which would seem hopeless to everyone else. A hope beyond reason. Beyond Logic. Beyond Doubt. Every little effort towards that dream should be the most sacred work of my life. That unshakeable faith in my effort that absolutely nothing can penetrate it. That hope which comes from inside and fills my surrounding with an atmosphere of heaven in which no doubt can breathe.
A hope like ‘ANDY DUFRENSE’ has of being free from Prison in ‘THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION’. What ‘ALBERT NARRACOTT’ has for meeting his horse after years of separation in ‘WAR HORSE’. What ‘EVAN TAYLOR’ has of meeting his parents in ‘AUGUST RUSH’. What ‘NANDO PARRADO’ has to survive 72 days in Andes in ‘ALIVE’. What a dog named ‘HACHIKO’ has of seeing his master in ‘HACHIKO: A DOG'S STORY’.
YES. THAT HOPE.
Then. A FRIEND. Who, when everyone else would be laughing at the DREAM I have and the HOPE I display, would come in and say nothing. But that gesture would mean everything. No questions asked. Why such a dream? Why so much hope? No. That unspoken bond. Just a constant presence. A friendship beyond need, beyond words. What 'CHUCKIE' is for 'WILL' in ‘GOODWILL HUNTING’. What ‘SAM’ is for ‘FRODO’ in ‘THE LORD OF THE RINGS'.
And to be that FRIEND for a FRIEND.
AND ONE MOMENT. A moment of complete despair and hopelessness. A moment when nothing would seem right with the world and nothing would make any sense. The lowest point of the abyss. A deepest, darkest and scariest moment when even taking one breathe would seem pointless, a burden. When feeling of dying would bring more solace than the thought of living. When Life and Death would stare into each other eyes looking for a weakness in each other. When I will close my eyes with an intention of never opening it in this world.
AND TO SURVIVE THAT MOMENT. To come out with renewed dose of hope never seen before. To once again put soul into that dream. To try once again. ONCE MORE…..
And then I will say. I HAVE LIVED A LIFE.
P.S - Title taken from a French Film 'A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT.'