Thursday, May 24, 2012

JUST REVERSE THE SIGN


A photographer trying to capture this gorgeous sunset at Tungnath (3680 m) in Garhwal, Uttarakhand. Another photographer trying to capture both! :-P

I would like to have dinner with you. Or a Lunch, perhaps? A breakfast might be a little uncomfortable for both of us, but I would agree to it, if that suits you better. May be, we would just sit on opposite sides and talk. No need of greetings and formalities. That was never needed. That will never be needed. All words will have a meaning. No words will have an outer covering. That is the thing we have always admired about each other. That is the only thing we have managed to admire about each other.

Pure Hate, like Pure Love is a rare thing to have. Anything pure, for that matter is a precious commodity now-a-days. I know you will loathe me for using the word commodity. Love is not a commodity. Why should Hate face such ignominy? I request you not to take the word seriously. But then I would contradict myself. OK, I will strike out that word. Pure Hate, like Pure Love is just precious.  Hard to Find. Harder to maintain. 

That is why I ask you to sit with me. Pure Hate needs constant nourishment. If we don’t sit together, how would we find new, fresh and genuine reasons to hate each other? With an ever increasing intensity? With Passion? We both know, we won’t hold anything back in hating each other. Just like pure Lovers. We just operate differently. We are capable of hating each other with all our hearts. We both know why. Because, we know each other completely. We understand each other like no one ever can.

Origins of Pure Love and Pure Hate are same. Only the fruits are bitter. We do not need to hide our flaws from each other. There is nothing we need to pretend when we face each other. To each other, we are as naked as one can be. The moment, we start to pretend, this relationship of Pure Hate would cease to exist. Lovers lose respect for each other. We would lose disgust for each other.  The flame may burn slowly for some more time, but it will be feeding on our conscience. And one day nothing will be left. And a burden on conscience is not good for any relationship. I know it. You know it.

Pure Love is about not needing to say too much. Pure Hate banks on saying everything on the face. Ironically, both need patient listening. In Love, we listen to signs, eyes, touches and unspoken words. In Hate, we listen to our own anger. In Love, we care. In Hate, we hurt.

I know you will not blink an eye in saying ‘I HATE YOU’ loudly and in front of the whole world. That Frankness. I wonder, if Pure Love can match this quality. No Guilt. Not asking for clemency. Not seeking one. PURE HATE. PURE LOVE. JUST REVERSE THE SIGN.

In pure love, people grow. In Pure Hate we will decay. Decaying, like growing is a sign of living.

Question is still hanging. Would you come? I will be waiting.  To Hate you. Wholeheartedly. 

Photo Credit - Who Else but me? ;-)

                                           - HAUSLE BULAND

Monday, May 14, 2012

An Albatross is Stubborn. He knows he can outlast the wind.

Plitvice National Park, Croatia

I know what I need.  A Dream.  A dream, on the lines of absurdity. A dream which  looks impossible at first thought, even at second thought. Which would need every atom of my every molecule of my every cell of my every organ to get it done. And even that might not be enough. My every breath should be scented with the thought of that dream getting fulfilled someday, somehow. A dream close to my heart, but much beyond the reach of my mind and body.

 The finish line should look so much beyond the horizon that even trying to pursue would be a foolhardy exercise. A dream, that even a thought that I would be able to touch it one day should fill every pore of  my skin with pleasure. That my heart should fill with so much satisfaction, that at that time, TIME WILL STOP. Every other sound, but the sound of my heart would be MUTE. That every smell, but of my own sweat would be odorless. Just the thought of reaching there would mean so much to me. What actually being there would feel like? UNDEFINED. UNEXPLAINAIBLE. WITHOUT WORDS.

A Dream like  BURT MUNRO has in ‘THE WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN’. What ‘DANTES’ has in ‘THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO'. What ‘RUDY’ has in ‘RUDY’.  What ‘OSKAR SCHELL’  has in ‘EXTREMELY HARD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE’. What ‘BHUVAN’ has in  ‘LAGAAN’.

And then I got to nurture that dream. WITH HOPE.

A hope which would seem hopeless to everyone else. A hope beyond reason. Beyond Logic. Beyond Doubt. Every little effort towards that dream should be the most sacred work of my life. That unshakeable faith in my effort that absolutely nothing can penetrate it. That hope which comes from inside and fills my surrounding with an atmosphere of heaven in which no doubt can breathe. 

A hope like ‘ANDY DUFRENSE’ has of being free from Prison in  ‘THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION’. What ‘ALBERT NARRACOTT’ has for meeting his horse after years of separation in ‘WAR HORSE’. What ‘EVAN TAYLOR’ has of meeting his parents in ‘AUGUST RUSH’. What ‘NANDO PARRADO’ has to survive 72 days in Andes in ‘ALIVE’.  What a dog named ‘HACHIKO’ has of seeing his master in ‘HACHIKO: A DOG'S STORY’.

YES. THAT HOPE.

Then. A FRIEND. Who, when everyone else would be laughing at the DREAM  I have and the HOPE I display,  would come in and say nothing. But that gesture would mean everything. No questions asked. Why such a dream? Why so much hope? No. That unspoken bond. Just a constant presence. A friendship beyond need, beyond words. What 'CHUCKIE'  is for 'WILL' in ‘GOODWILL HUNTING’. What ‘SAM’ is for ‘FRODO’ in ‘THE LORD OF THE RINGS'.

And to be that FRIEND for a FRIEND.

AND ONE MOMENT. A moment of complete despair and hopelessness. A moment when nothing would seem right with the world and nothing would make any sense. The lowest point of the abyss. A deepest, darkest and scariest moment when even taking one breathe would seem pointless, a burden. When feeling of dying would bring more solace than the thought of living. When Life and Death would stare into each other eyes looking for a weakness in each other. When I will close my eyes with an intention of never opening it in this world.

AND TO SURVIVE THAT MOMENT. To come out with renewed dose of hope never seen before. To once again put soul into that dream. To try once again. ONCE MORE…..

And then I will say. I HAVE LIVED A LIFE.

P.S - Title taken  from a French Film 'A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT.'