Friday, August 26, 2011

In 6 Days

HE

DAY 1:


I am enjoying the responsibility of being a captain of this passenger ship. Its been a while, since I had seen so many people aboard a ship. Life in the Cargo ship was dull. A crew of 6, 7..all alone in an ocean. And no girls...so boring. Talking of girls, I saw a pretty one on this ship, talking, giggling in her group. May be she is with her friends here. She stands out from her group, like me, in my dress. I have been observing her last few days. Probably she has seen me seeing her, though I can not be sure. Oh..I am such a Pussy. A Gutless Pig. I should go talk to her. I can not resist it anymore. Its a long journey. It will be nice to have a friend. Yeah..I will talk to her tomorrow. Sure. I promise.

SHE

DAY 2:


The captain of the ship came to me today. I have  seen him seeing me a few times. Pretending to be talking to someone else, but eyeing me from a corner. He is kind of cute. But, bechara nazar se nazar nahi mila paata.  I was wondering, when he will have the courage to talk to me. He finally did. He asked me for a coffee. But, I can not say, yes, the first time..can I? I thought, lets play around a bit. Tease. I sent him cold footed. He went disappointed. He is probably shivering in shame. :P. Lets see, if he can garner the courage to come to me again. Interesting. There is no place to hide here. We will see each other again. Can't wait for tomorrow.

HE

DAY 3:

I do not know, how I found the courage to ask her second time. But I upped the ante a bit. I asked her for  dinner today. But, Again, she said No. I am still wondering..Why! I am polite, well behaved and a Captain. She does not give any reason. Just a simple, firm No. Should I ask her again? Rejected Twice... Sad. God..Can I have a platter of courage tomorrow, to go with my coffee please?

SHE

DAY 4:


Well...he is stubborn..isn't he. I turned him down twice. And he came back again. I like that. But, I wasn't going to let him win just yet. He asked me for a dance today. But, I again said No. Maybe, I saw a bit of desperation in his voice today. Good for him. It should not be that easy. Even if he does not come back tomorrow, he will get a lesson in life. LOL (I hope he does :P )

HE

DAY 5:

Has anyone gone so far..I wonder. Having been denied a coffee, dinner and a dance, I went for the kill. I asked her to have sex with me. I told her, I am going to drown this ship if she says No again.(I tried to be serious). I will drown every passenger aboard. I will make every life boat leak. We will die together. I do not know how I got this courage.  She was taken aback. I did not mean to threaten her, but I did not see any other way. I was only asking her for her time and I was not getting any. She did not say anything. She just left.

SHE

DAY 6:


I saved the life of about 350 passengers tonight.

P.S - It is a possibility that you have heard this before, in some form or the other. I heard this long back from Papa, when I was too little and too innocent to understand the meaning of the last sentence. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

12 Sept 1997

It was a regular train running between Gaya and Patna. A daily passenger train. Taking a 4 hour time for what should take about two hours. But, it did not matter. Everyone is used to it. Halt of a train for an hour or so at one of the midway stations does not affect anyone anymore. This abnormality has been weaved seamlessly into the normal lives of people who take this train regularly. Train going from Patna to Gaya on the morning of 12th Sept 1997 halted at Nadma, a small station, more nearer  to Patna than Gaya. Sitting in one of the dusted, unkempt seats was Dr Arvind Agarwal, a practicing physician from Gaya. As the train halted, few people got off and few more went aboard. After a few minutes halt, the train started.

When the train gathered speed, the scene inside one of the bogies changed suddenly. Few young people(I do not know, whether they had their faces covered), took their pistols out and asked everyone to take out their belongings. Money, jewelry, watches, anything valuable was to be presented to them. Delay in response from the passengers resulted in harassment and beating. As people started to take out their hard earned money, their small ear rings, nose rings, necklaces etc, one of the young boys with a pistol noticed a lady sitting in the corner. She was newly wed, he told himself. She was pretty, he thought. He needed more than just her jewelry. He needed her. He needed her body. He started molesting her. Her meek husband, seating beside her, was kept shut by a slap and a pointed gun.

"Paise to aap logon ne le hi liya hai, kam se kam uski izzat to rehne dijiye", said Dr Arvind, unable to keep silent with the scene unfolding in front of him. He said politely, hoping that the inner goodness in men will win over the pointed gun. He was wrong. No more words were said. Neither by the young man nor by the Doctor. The pistol spoke. Twice. Two shots in his stomach. He fell down from his seat. He clutched his stomach, trying to prevent the flow of blood. Being a doctor himself, he knew that loss of blood will kill him, more than the wound caused within by the two bullets. As he fell down, panic crept inside the passengers. The young man who had shot froze for few seconds. But the guys with him pulled the man away from the scene. The other co-passengers all started running away from the bogie. As the train slowed down to stop at the next station, Nadaul, the bogie was empty. As the train stopped, the whole train was empty. He was still alive. Bleeding to his death.

I came home from school. As I entered, I saw Papa at home. Isn't he supposed to be at his office, I asked myself. 'Doctor Uncle nahi rahe, beta', Papa said answering the question in my mind. He had just returned from Shamshan Ghaat. And then he told me how it happened, as per the reports and a few eye witnesses. He was sad. The Doctor's wife, herself a doctor repeatedly said,'bas, agar mujhe samay par khabar ho jaati, to main unhe bacha leti'. Papa had lost a dear friend. He had been good to our family. Coming in god-forsaken hours to see us, if any of us were not doing well.  We had lost a kind soul.

He was not a hero. He did not want to die. He knew that if he had been silent, he would have come home to see his wife and children. It would have been another day in his office from tomorrow. But, May be not. Once, you see a crime being done in front of you, you are not the same human being. Speaking your mind, standing up to something takes a lot of courage. Doubly so, when a pistol is pointed at you. And he stood up and spoke. Because, something more than money was at stake.  

If I had been in that position, I do not know how I would have handled or behaved. May be, it is easy to say while sitting safely at home that I would have flung my arms and would have kicked their ass. It would have taken just one kick at their hands to remove their pistols and then I would have overpowered them with the help of the other people. Reality is different. Unless, you are facing the situation, you do not know how your mind would work. Whether I would have been able to overcome my fear to say something, do something, I do not know. Probably yes. We do not know what we are capable of. We do not know our own limitations. Under stress and adverse circumstances, sometimes, power and courage comes from within, which we do not know before that it even existed.  We sometimes do things, which are beyond our capacity under normal cases. But, faced with a task, a problem, when we know, there is no other way out but to fight with dignity, to use all your mind, power and wit, sometimes, who knows..we may emerge victorious. As Premchand defined Courage(Sahas) as – ‘Bhay ki parakashtha ko hi sahas kehte hain’ (Courage is nothing but a fear beyond a border line).

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Koshish


Maine to bas koshish ki thi..
ki agar tumse akhiri baar mil na saka..
to kam se kam..
ek baar tumhare khwabo mein aau..
Pukaru..
Apne hone ka ehsaas karau
Par main kamyaab ho na saka
Jaane kyun..Dil ko phir samjha na saka..
Jaane Kyun, Tumse Aakhri baar mil na saka..
Tumhare khwabo mein jagah pa na saka..


Shayad,
Main  tumhare sapne mein aaya bhi tha..
Mujhe dekh kar..
Tumne apne hothon ke thar tharane ko dabaya bhi tha...
Shayad
Tumne apne dil ki muskaan ko chupaya bhi tha
Meri Manzil,
Sirf khwabo ke daayare mein rahna nahi tha.
Tumhare dil mein bhi utarne ki chahat thi.
Par inkaar ka jo darr
jo hum sab mein hota hai..
Us darr par, main bhi kabu pa na saka..


Jab subah ki roshni ne mere aankhon ko khola..
Tab tumhare darwaaze par aana chaha...
Halki si aawaz deni chahi..
Bina kuch bole hi..
Sab kuch bolna chaha…
Par tumse aankhen mila kar.
Apne zakhm tumhe dikha kar...
Alvida kahne ki himmat,juta na saka...

Jab bataabi itni badh gayi..
Tere paas aane ko..
Meri zindagi ne mujhe chod diya..
Tujhe apna banane ko..
Mere hoth khud hi chalne lage
Tera naam gungunane ko..
Maine daud lagayi..tumhe paane ko..
Tumhe paas la kar..sab kuch batane ko
Par tumhe maine bahut khush paaya..
Kisi aur ke baahon mein..
Tere hothon par thi khushi jo apaar.
Tumhari aakhon mein, uska sapna tha barkarar..
maine apne kadam wahin thaam liye..
ek kadam to kya..apni soch ko bhi aage badha na saka..
Itne paas aa kar bhi tujhe apna dard samjha na saka..
Teri aakhon mein , wo dard, main pa na saka..


Daudte hue...bahut dur nikal aaya tha main.
Parayon ko to kya, apno ko bhi chod aaya tha main
Khuli aakhon se sapna dekhna chod aaya tha main..
Saanse to chal rahi thi..par jindagi bhool aaya tha main.
Par tumhare jaane ke baad, zindagi jeene ki,
Koi aur achhi wajah main dhund na saka..


Main haar gaya..
aisa maine soch liya tha...
tumhe bhool chuka hun..
aisa maine maan liya tha..
Magar teri jhuki palaken meri nazron mein kaid hai..
Teri sanson ki garmi meri sanson mein jabt hai..
Tere hothon ki garmi mere hothon mein band hai...
Pichle dino ko yaad karte hue..
Apne aap ko samjhane ki koshish ki..
par us din..jab tumne mujhe pehli baar chua tha..
us yaad ko, aaj bhi bhula na saka...
Tere dard ko apne dil se mita na saka..

 
Tum mere darwaaza par kabhi aaogi..
Apne dil se, mujhe aawaz lagaogi..
Mera toota hua dil, phir se hansega
Tumhare pyar ki barish mein,
Main phir se bheengunga
Haqeeqat mein aisa hoga..
Iski umeed maine chodi nahi hai..
Tumse jo maine rishta joda tha..
Wo abhi tak maine todi nahi hai..
Mere jeevan mein log to bahut aaye..
Tumhari jagah abhi bhi wahi hai..
Main to phir bhi kuch nahi bolta..
Tujhe yaad kar, dil aaj bhi hai rota.
Tumhari tasveer saamne rakh..
Main aaj bhi..raat bhar nahi sota..
Tumhare bina jeena, abhi tak to main seekh na saka…
Kabhi main tumhara tha..
Iske siwa, apni aur koi pehchan bana na saka..
Jab bhi aakhhen band karta hun..
To yehi sochta hun..
Jaagti aakhon se dekha  ek hi sapna tha..
Vo pura ho na saka, Tumhara ho na saka..

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Movies in the Rain..

I have just come back from watching two back to back movies in the Locarno Film Festival. I  watched Friends With Benefits and Attack the Block. Daniel Craig, Kabir Bedi, Harrison Ford were there. I was supposed to stay for one more night, but the tickets were not available, so returning to Zurich to have a peaceful Sunday looked like a sensible idea.

The hallmark of Locarno Film Festival is the largest Open air theater where they show two movies(usually the high profile ones) in the night. At the centre of Locarno (Piazza Grande), an enormous screen is erected and thousands of chairs are put on the street overlooking it. On the houses on both side of the street, speakers, cameras and lightings are done, which make for an absolutely marvelous viewing. I was here last year also* and seeing the excitement and atmosphere the last time, being here again was an opportunity, which I was not ready to miss. So what, if none of my other colleagues and friends share the same excitement for watching the movie in an uniquely electric environment. I packed my bags, booked the tickets, and took off directly from my office in Zurich.

But this time, atmosphere was unique (read bleak) and I am sure, very few unlucky ones have got a chance to experience this. It was cloudy. And as soon as I set foot in Locarno, it started raining. Quite heavy. It was pretty interesting to see many people taking their umbrellas out and others in the raincoats, jackets watching a movie in the open air, with the rain coming down. I neither had an umbrella nor a raincoat. Retreat was not an option for me. So, I pulled my jacket above my head, put my bag on my thighs and watched both the movies. Rain sometimes stopped, but for the most part continued in a small nonchalant drizzling manner. Neither too heavy to leave everyone gasping for breadth nor too slow to not get you wet. By the end of it, I was quite drenched. I was a shivering-Cold-Fool. Water was dripping from my hair. My socks were wet too. And on the giant screen, Mila Kunis(Black Swan), sexy and gorgeous, and Justin Timberlake were cuddling each other on the bed.

You do not get an opportunity everyday to watch a movie in the rain. May be, if I had someone else for a company I would have made an effort to borrow/buy an umbrella or a raincoat. But it felt like too much of an effort for just myself. And I like the rain, anyway. Watching a movie in the rain is not an everyone's idea to spend a night. I guess, that it was for an insane-me, and a few select like us, who were all watching the movie with an umbrella over their head. 
 

Last Time – I went to the Festival unplanned and despite my best efforts, was not able to find a single room to stay overnight. As the last show ends around 1:30 AM, staying overnight was THE thing to do, but it would be nigh impossible to get a single room in the entire city, I had not envisaged. So, what did I do? Left the show early and went back to Zurich? No, sir and madam, No. I watched both the shows (Cyrus and Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale). I met the Producer of the movie Bheja Fry, Sunil Doshi and talked with him while having dinner together. He told me about his work and about the creativity of people like Rajat Kapoor and Vinay Pathak, with whom he had worked a lot and enjoyed working. When the lights of the theatre were on again, it was around 2:00 AM. I roamed the streets of Locarno, slept for a bit in the park, went to the Casino to spend some time. I thought of staying in the Casino till the time it closes, around 4:00 AM. But, I had to leave at least an hour earlier, because I had started winning and I thought of leaving before my luck ran out. I walked to the station hoping for a train to Bellinzona, from where it would be easy to get a train back to Zurich. And Luck was smiling. A train was leaving just in time and I hopped on. I reached Bellinzona around 3:00 AM, but the next train to Zurich was only at 5:30 AM. I slept in the waiting room for about two hours and woke up just in time to find my train waiting. I was about to take my bag and leave, when I noticed a couple of policemen coming my way. I also noticed, a sort of beggar (yes, in Switzerland), sleeping on the floor of the waiting room. The policemen woke up that man and began asking questions. Then, one of them, noticed me and asked for my passport. I tried to tell them, that my train is leaving, but, it was too late. They began checking my passport, verifying all the details, and by the time, they were done, the train was done and dusted. I got out of the waiting room and saw those green hills on the far side of the railway station. I sat outside, admiring the views, waiting for the next train which was after 1 hour.

Both the times, it was DIFFERENT. UNIQUE. BEST WORST EXPERIENCE or WORST BEST EXPERIENCE (I have no idea what this means).

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A Serious Post


Aha..Fooled you...Didn't I? Hooray!!
Its going to be short one today! The blog has been hovering on the fine lines of sentimentality, philosophy, confused ramblings, and the similar usual inane stuffs for quite a while now. Today it is neither of these. Today is about nothing.

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I do not consider myself as a very good conversationalist. I do not normally initiate conversations, either on chat or phone. Despite having extremely varied interests,  most often than not, I do not have much to talk about. And I envy (secretly) those who can talk on and on jumping from one topic to another entirely unrelated topic without even a hint of a pause. Sigh!! So, against all odds, when I do have a very good conversation once in a while, it feels really good. And there is one thing which I really dread when I am talking or chatting with someone.

'Aur Batao'

This is an instant conversation killer for me.

You are chatting, sharing thoughts, making silly jokes, it is going great. But when 'Aur Batao/Bata' enters, I feel like,'yeah, my time is up'.  This is over for now. Pack Up. :)
So, now you know what not to say.

Weird?

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Psycho of kbeanie said sorry to everyone in his post on whom he had ever shouted or was angry. And this got me thinking that probably I should do the same. Except that I just can not remember the last time when I was angry at anyone. I have been angry a few times on 'somethings', but I can not remember any 'someone'*. Very Strange. I remember an incident, when a friend in college told me , 'tujhe pehli baar dekha tha to aisa laga tu bahut gusse wala hoga'! (He was a bit drunk). I have not lived up to his expectation at any level. But, in retrospect, what a wonderful dull life I have had so far. I have never slapped anyone, never had a fight with anyone. So, if you want to help me, then you can help me remember,if I was ever angry on you.  I will work on this now. I promise. I will find someone to fight. I will have an attitude. Jhootha hi sahi...par!

*I was once angry at my teacher when I was in 6th class. He gave me two slaps (one on each mere pyaare se mulayam se gaal) for no fault of mine. I was too small to do anything. Oh damn you physicists, where the hell is time machine?


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A friend sends me photos of few girls and asks me, if I like them.

He tells me, 'saale, inhe us nazar se mat dekhna! inme se koi bhi teri bhabhi ho sakti hai!'.

It becomes difficult, sometimes, you know  :P He is under a bit of pressure from his parents to choose a girl. Today, he sends me another photo which his parents have almost decided and wants my opinion.

 I say, 'agar tujhe ye pasand hai, to mujhe bhi pasand hai'(Diplomatic!)

He thinks, the girl is a bit overqualified for him(so nice of him!). I tell him to talk to her and discuss what you feel. I suggest, may be she, herself has some reservations, or she might have a boyfriend.

He says,'abe,  usse dekh kar lagta hai ki uska boyfriend hoga!' (Her homely looks and impeccable academic qualifications, you see).

I say, 'abe,tujhe dekh kar bhi to nahi lagta ki teri girl friend rahi hogi!' (His sutte ke karan dhanse hue looks and academic qualifications which whisper - just Passed).

Dekhte hain!!

Kya bakwaas likha hai, you would be asking. But today, this was precisely what I wanted.