Monday, October 11, 2010

Just Naive.

Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai?
Is sheher mein har shakhs paresan sa kyun hai?

It was first week of May last year. I had returned from Spain after completing the assignment and was joining office on the next working day in Noida. I had brought the chocolates for my team mates and friends and knew there would be quite a lot of excitement as I would be meeting them after 3 months. I had a smile on my face and was looking forward to the barrage of questions I would be subjected to: 'abe, kaisa hai bhai','trip kaisa tha','kahan kahan ghuma','abe, wahan ki ladkiyan kaisi hai','tu to mota ho gaya hai', 'abe, tu to waisa hi hai','khana bana leta tha?','koi mili ki nahi udhar?' etc etc etc. Well, these questions were asked and answered when I stepped in to the arena. But..

There was one question which I had not imagined or anticipated. It came from a colleague. He took me to a corner of the cubicle, away from all shor-sharaba. And asked a fairly simple question - 'abe, wo sab hata, ye bata, bacha kar kitna laaya?' I was speechless. Not because, I did not want to answer the question (Say what you say, but most of us are secretive of our account balances). The question made me uncomfortable, because I did not know the answer. I mumbled a reply that I did not know how much I saved as I have not really calculated anything and moreover saving money was not high on my agenda as I was really happy in travelling and seeing as many new places as possible and enjoying my time as best as possible. He was visibly dissatisfied. He clearly expected a answer that I had saved x lacs. (He was the next in line to go to Spain).

Very recently, a friend asked me over a drinks party - 'tujhe paise se bilkul pyar nahi hai na?'. I chuckled and said,'mujhe paise se pyar hai, par paisa ka moh nahi hai.' (I dont even know, if it makes sense). Another question from my room mate and college friend - 'I do not know, if it affects you or not, but I see people in my company who are at par with me or below my rank come in car and when I get down from a auto in front of them, I feel so bad'. I told him, it does not and will not affect me at all. Ever. I have so many friends/batch mates/colleagues who come in cars and I take public transportation daily to commute. Can I buy a car? Yes. Should I buy a car? No. Why? I do not need it.

Money has always been secondary. Spending it on things which pleases me comes first.

Me personally, I would happily take a break now for couple of years and go and engage myself in activities which I would like to do and lighten my account balance(or squander, some would say!). This would  give me great pleasure than accumulating all the money and then finding myself suddenly bald and bulging waist and asking myself a question at the cross roads - Is this what you wanted? But you can not take a break. Who thinks of taking a break when you are just 25. 'Ye to kaam karne ki umar hai, paise kamane ki din hai!' Society will remind you this. Make a career.

Is it necessary to have an ambition? To make money? Is money necessary for a better and satisfying life? What if, we just want to lie around and do pleasurable activities and earn just enough to meet your needs? Is it so bad to not work to change your job to increase your salary? Not to do an MBA, when you clearly can, but just because you do not feel like it?

If these questions paint a picture that I have a very rich upbringing and that I have seen enough money to not realise its importance( or power), then you are mistaken. Without giving much further, I can just say that I am a common man. I own money. Money does not own me. Nor it will ever. My career path will not be defined by my salary hikes.

I know I am not making much sense. Things related to money never do.
Almost everything I have said are contradictory to each other. Am I just Naive? Immature? Irresponsible? Selfish? Or just a mortal born in a wrong time period.