Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dissecting my Horoscope

yeah, you guessed right. It is a night-out. After a long time though. After a few unsuccessful attempts at night outs these last few weeks, I was beginning to seriously doubt myself of losing this college given attribute. Well, I have finished 'nigh-o-t out' in this particular inning.

Thought, It might be a good day to see my horoscope after a long time. (One of my pal had an interview today of an MBA college. So, he was curious to see how his week would fare. I could not help myself sneaking through mine). This is what it said:

There shall be testing times with circumstances demanding really difficult questions, which you have no option but to take or suffer more later. There may be occupational problems, but these can only be sorted out by having discussions in a gentle manner rather than adopting a confrontationist attitude which might only cause you losses. There is no doubt that you will also be getting new and extra work and you will have to make several short trips for these kind of opportunities that come your way, as these shall be useful to you in the months to come. With Saturn's position still not very favourable, you must recite the Vedic shanti mantra daily or atleast offer a part of your meals to the crows and feed black cows with fodder, that shall bring immense relief. Long distance travelling may best be avoided as chances of accidents or injuries on the road cannot be ruled out, but if you have to, recite Hanuman Chalisa before leaving home. Love matters continue to be complicated due to unexplainable circumstances.


It could not have been more worse, I imagine. Like most other things, it is easier to digest when it is broken in small, chewable parts. Isnt it?

So, lets see it...

There shall be testing times with circumstances demanding really difficult questions, which you have no option but to take or suffer more later.

Now, I want one 'testing' circumstance which does not demand difficult questions. And, what the hell it means by saying 'no option but to take or suffer more later'. Sounds like Robert De Niro is asking me to eat non-veg at gun point in a mob movie. Utter rubbish and I have no option but to shelve it.

There may be occupational problems, but these can only be sorted out by having discussions in a gentle manner rather than adopting a confrontationist attitude which might only cause you losses.

Every sane person knows, that it is always better to talk and discuss to resolve problems. Occupational or otherwise. Well, I will just say,'Thanks for reminding'.


There is no doubt that you will also be getting new and extra work and you will have to make several short trips for these kind of opportunities that come your way, as these shall be useful to you in the months to come.

Frankly speaking, I do not see it coming. Not now. Not now+. And even if it comes, I will never lose an opportunity to travel. Whether it is useful to me or not. Doesnt matter!!

With Saturn's position still not very favourable, you must recite the Vedic shanti mantra daily or atleast offer a part of your meals to the crows and feed black cows with fodder, that shall bring immense relief.

The second most hilarious part in my horoscope. I find it hard to imagine that reciting my Shanti mantra will somehow alter the speed and trajectory of Saturn so that it becomes favourable for me. Saturn is moving anyway...right? And Crows and Black cows? Come on!! I am an animal lover, will get whoever comes to me when I am having my lunch. Its just that I doubt, black cows can come to my 2nd floor apartment and crows will always find a dead dog lying in some footpath near these busy roads.

Long distance travelling may best be avoided as chances of accidents or injuries on the road cannot be ruled out, but if you have to, recite Hanuman Chalisa before leaving home.

What the F***. '
chances of accidents or injuries on the road cannot be ruled out'. Isnt it true every single second we are on the road? No need to add further.

Love matters continue to be complicated due to unexplainable circumstances.

The most hilarious part. Let me tell you what is this 'unexplainable circumstances'. I am single, so love matters continue to be complicated. And I have chance of getting a GF in this week with as much probability as finding a Polar beer in Zaire.Point Closed


All in All, it promises all the wrong things happening with me this week. But I am sure, somebody else is already having a nightmare this week. Just read in the newspaper that some one named Shiv Murti Dwivedi alias Ichadhari Sant Swami Bhimanand Ji Maharaj Chitrakoot Wale has been arrested for allegedly running a sex racket in Delhi. What a shame. He had a few lakhs 'followers' in all over India. What would they think? All these babas are just 'dhongis'. (just a point of view). I bet, he did not see it coming in his last week horoscope!!


1 comment:

  1. Hehehe, I believe that whatever happens on this planet is completely random, but still, renowned astrologers can predict correctly almost a majority of times. I cannot give a number to that, but when someone's prediction becomes true, it really amazes me.

    And as far as Love is concerned, "Love Happens". Keep your eyes open. :)

    7:7 - In 2 months!!! You are not working hard eh!

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