Monday, November 12, 2007

Why am I appearing for CAT?

Well....D-day is near enough....I mean 18th nov. And if you remember this date well enough, there is strong probability that you are the one appearing for CAT this year. I am writing this....and i remember this date too...so I dont need to elaborate on this further...that Yes..Me too!!

But,exactly.. why am i appearing?I am still looking for an answer. Is it money or a better job profile compared to the one which i am currently in or I dont have a technical mind suited for other jobs, or I think I will be wasting myself, my talent if i dont have a job which involves managing others. Well these could be one of the reasons that others appearing for CAT could/would/should give...and with 'others' here..I mean who are really serious about the exam this year...who have spent their TIME and money preparing for it, the ones who have burned midnight oils preparing for the day..which is...just a week away. And still, i cant think of a solid reason which justifies me appearing for CAT. A reason..good enough.. which should have motivated me..altleast to put some amount of 'honest' effort preparing for 18th. And since that didnt happen...it makes me think...that may be i could not find a motivation to do that. Or may be the reason, which i generally used to give - 'I just want a change' was not sufficient and it didnt infuse enough spark in me to even try preparing. I can safely blame my so called software job, among others for not giving me enough time to prepare honestly. But the truth is..I didnt not even try to find time to invest in it. I definitely got time to watch all the new movies(even repeat some of those!!), playing badminton, hanging out with friends(AND I AM NOT REGRETTING DOING ALL THESE ACTIVITIES). But not the time to seat idle for some time and think...about the 18th. I believe you always get time to do things which you enjoy and like doing from inside and you will never get time to do things which you dont enjoy doing. And if you are not finding time to do some things...however urgent or important that thing may be....that just conveys the message that you have accepted the fact that...you will not enjoy doing that thing. Still you do some things..which you dont like doing...thats a different case...that might be case of negative motivation.
So, I will be there at the center on the morning of 18th seeing all those faces(specially the pretty ones ;)) and trying to figure out who among those are 'THE ONES'...whose planned and dedicated effort is going to take them through this exam safely. I will be there at the center, having a chuckle on my face, with no expectations...what so ever...and knowing fully...that today's exam is not meant to test my ability.
Some may argue that it is never too late to start preparing...with only 2-3 weeks to go. But then a little knowledge is dangerous thing...dangerous not in the sense that its going to harm me any way..but then going to the exam with a half baked effort puts a sense of guiltiness in you. On entering the examination hall and getting the question paper you may realize that ...Shit!! if only you had worked a bit more, may be you could have fared much better, If only. Some die hard optimists can also argue - 'you never know, Miracles do happen. Isnt it? So what is gone ...gone ...start atleast now'. Not that I am not an optimist. Sure I am ...an eternal optimist, but then your optimism should be backed by labour which you should put in to realize the thing which you want. Optimism makes sense when it is coupled with your sweat.
Now you are getting my problem. I am not at all disappointed with my no effort, neither am i getting goose bumps in the build up to that day.I am not kicking myself for doing nothing...but I am surely kicking myself for not able to trace a reason which should have pushed me to atlest try. May be i was too lazy...even for that.
One week to go...and and with nothing on my mind, i am just going to enjoy myself there(easier
said than done!!) and yes ...of course trying to find that...which will ignite me to do things which should be done. You see...you dont need a reason to do tasks which you enjoy doing. You just do it.

Still...Housle buland hai!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ideas...Oops...They are so many!!!!


Writing is an ART. I have long admired people with a knack of writing. And when i say writing, it means not just arranging of words(and why only words?)...but which involves a thought process..and may have the ability to initiate the thinking process in the mind of the reader. How many times have you been stunned by reading a piece of paragraph from a novel, or stumbled upon a piece of shayari that touches your heart or heard a lyrics which forces you to close your eyes and you just say - Oh, So Beautiful!! and hearing it many times over just enhances the pleasure. Well, you must have undergone these pleasures quite a few times....I am sure.
I always admired(or envied?) those who were/are near me and they have the ability to create a symphony of words. I have been fortunate to have friends who are quite diverse in their nature as well as their specific talents. If one is a damn good painter(i was too at some time in my life;though only a painter and not damn good), the other one is a writing wizard. I have friends who are creative while talking on phone (talking for 4 hrs definitely requires creativity), creative while looking for excuses, even creative doing nothing but giving an impression of being very busy!!! Writing a novel have been one of my long cherished dreams.(Dreams....oh they are so many!!). This is just the beginning.
My first piece of this so called blog really took a long time to come in to existence. I am been asked so many times by my friends(well, one guy in particular) - Abe kab shuru kar raha hai tu likhna? And i would just say...Karunga. And i will get reply - Tu bas soch?
Well, how can i write without thinking? You see, the problem was not the lack of ideas, but the plenty of them. There were so many things going inside my head, that it was difficult to trace the root of one idea to its trunk. But then i had to create a symphony of words..literally speaking!! So here I am - on the first morning after Diwali to pick out one of those ideas lying in the pool and start building upon that.
I have always been fascinated by ONE LINERS, especially the funny ones due to their sheer content in their fragile bodies.

Consider one of these:
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Or,
Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

The one with messages :

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Two one liners which i have been hearing since time immemorial are:
Well begun is half done.
All's well that ends well.

Both are true. Very true indeed. But I was wondering what happened to the soul of the the task. The very crux of the matter. How come no one liner was phrased for the middle part. Even if you begun well, sleeping after that will undo everything...and you cannot complete the other half if your intensity levels have decreased. Yoy are just not going to end well if you do not continue the good work...through out. You will get a product as good as your effort. In my opinion -
All's well that ends well - has a message of mediocrity hidden inside it, used to justify when you managed a good product what could have been a better product, if only one had the same intensity.

But then there is another one liner - Easier said than done!!

I am not sure, how well the product has turned out to be in this case, but my friend-critics who are all there, please do read this ....and ofcourse your comments will keep me on my toes.

thanks psycho for challenging me!!!!!!!!